The Curious Case of the Package in the Night-Time

Hi, all of Mo’s friends and family. *waves* Mo asked me to guest blog today while she’s OTRA. Man, do you know the PRESSURE of being asked to post on someone else’s blog?! I mean sure, I post all the time on my own, but this is a different animal all together. I tend to ramble as you’ll see, which is ok on my own blog because anyone who reads me knows that about me, but Mo is more succinct and I don’t want to bore y’all to tears. I also like to make up blog titles based on books or sappy 80’s music. Really, I spared y’all the first title that came to mind – be glad. And at least I didn’t have to come up with a topic on my own; this one just fell right into my lap.

Mo has talked once or twice about her crazy neighbor lady, but for the most part, no one else had ever witnessed this behavior or anything out of the ordinary from her. Until Friday, that is. I was hanging out with Mo in her apartment, shooting the breeze, when all the sudden we start hearing this shouting coming from the balcony next door. At first it just sounded like someone yelling to a friend down in the parking lot…then comes the barking. And this lady doesn’t have a dog. Apparently she thinks someone with dogs is out to GET her… oh, how do I know that? Later in the evening we happened to run across some of our burblet’s finest policing the local mall, so Mo stopped to ask their advice about the neighbor. “Oh, you mean the one on the corner of XXX and XXX?” they replied.

Ok, I don’t know about you, but when the police already know who you’re talking about before you give them any information? That’s a scary thing. See, they’ve been called out there several times in the last few days by the lady herself, because she thinks someone with dogs is setting them on her when she tries to leave her apartment. Mo was able to verify that there are no such dogs in the complex, and figure out from something that was mentioned about medications that the neighbor lady is actually schizophrenic.

So hearing a woman barking on her balcony? It made the hair on the back of my neck stand up, and it just ramped up from there. Forgive me if I don’t get the timeline exactly right, but over the next couple of days there was a cinder block that she drug up three flights of stairs at 5:30 in the morning, AFTER putting a piece of tape over Mo’s peep hole so she couldn’t see what was going on. There was operatic singing, singing and loud music at 3:00 in the morning, little “gifts” being left on the center of Mo’s doormat, and then Sunday night Mo came home to find this waiting for her:


In case you can't read the writing it says "Thank you for being a friend. Love, Dr. Prince"

It was halfway between her door and the lady’s door, so she just left it alone that night. The next morning it was still there, but it had been shoved closer to Mo’s door and more text had been added:

“PS, I’m in room 8-10”.

So finally around mid afternoon on Monday, Mo called in THE BIG GUNS.

I love the unintentional Charlies Angels-ass-kicking- look of this picture.

When I started writing this I couldn’t remember if it was ok to mention Kyla by her name here, so I was going to refer to her as THE BIG GUNS. Then I checked Mo’s blog this morning and saw Kyla’s name, but this tickled me so much I’m sticking to it because girlfriend swept into Mo’s apartment, dressed to kill and calm as a surgeon. “I’ll need gloves.” she stated. I was impressed. I was too much of a weenie to open that thing, but THE BIG GUNS picked it right up and swept it into the kitchen, noticing along the way what Mo and I hadn't; it was LEAKING. And then we realized it was double bagged. What on earth was in that thing that she had to double bag it?! What the hell?!

So THE BIG GUNS got right down to business, snapped on her gloves, and started cutting into the bag. Once through the two layers we saw a cherry cordial box, but it was all wet and grody looking.


We looked at each other and wondered what the hell she could have done to cherry cordials to make the box so sodden. Then THE BIG GUNS prodded up the lid and we saw what was inside.

*WARNING - DISGUSTING PICTURE COMING* Proceed at your own risk...






It was rotten food. I have a strong gag reflex, so I had to look away, but THE BIG GUNS says it was maggoty. It certainly had been sitting out a lot longer than it had been on Mo’s porch. And the stench. Uck.

So I ask you… malicious intent? The working of a confused, schizophrenic mind off her meds? I don’t know. What do you think?

Oh, and neighbor lady will be relocated soon, so Mo won't have to live next to her for much longer. I think Mo won't know what to do with all the peace and quiet. ;)