The Mystic Experience

Goodness gracious! Who would have thought the Mystic Tan experience would be what it is all cracked up to be?

Let me give a little bit of background before I share with you one of the most shocking experiences I have had in a loooong time.

I realized Saturday, post shower, my skin was getting pretty darn close to matching the fluffy white towel I was using to dry off. I’m not talking ecru, off white, cream. I’m talking white.

Yes, I live in a suburb of a city known for rain. Yes, we are finally starting to emerge from the dark depths of fall and winter. Yes, it’s perfectly normal to be pale. But to match a big, white fluffy towel pale? That’s just not right or normal for me.

I decide it’s time to check out the spray tan. When I lived down South, I was tan. Pretty much all year round I had color. I’ve done damage to my skin and decided thousands of people can’t be wrong by going the spray tan route. I’ve done the self tanner application and will fully admit I am too busy or lazy (take your pick) to spend the time applying the self tanner myself. I’ll pay to stand in front of a machine and get lacquered with a fine mist that promises to give me a nice color.

So, this morning, before I hit the office, I took the plunge and went for my very first Mystic Tan session. Holy Hell. It scared the bejeezus out of me. The girl at the salon explained the right way to stand, to use the barrier cream so my nails and heels wouldn’t turn a funky color, how to dry off (no wiping folks, simply pat. You don’t want to streak do you?), to hold my breath (no need to worry; you only have to hold your breath for about 45 seconds), and to expect to be startled once the machine started.

Really? Startled? You don’t say. There was no startling people. I fully admit it. I was skeered. I was totally caught off guard when the thing fired up and started working its Mystic Tan magic. There’s nothing quite like getting hit with some serious mist in a mini wind tunnel atmosphere while holding your breath and trying to maintain a pseudo Karate Kid pose. No dignity. No shame. I was skeered.

She warned me and said the next time I come in it will be better. I certainly hope so. At least I will know what to expect but I wonder, will that make it even worse? Will I be expecting it and psyche myself out? Let’s hope not because after 1 session, I have to proclaim loudly that I am a believer in the Mystic Tan. You read it here first girls and boys. I am a spray tan convert. I will have color and in a healthy way. Ok, so it’s fake color but its color a‘right. No more white fluffy towel skin for me.

Before I made it home, which is about a five minute drive at most, I had changed to a golden color. A natural light golden color. By this afternoon I was a darkened, Hawaiian Tropic, just spent a few days laying on the beach, golden color. As the day progressed, I continued to get a deeper, richer color. Leave house a ghost, arrive 10 hours later a tan woman.

Yea, want to see a cool party trick at the office? Check in on Mo every few hours to see what color she is now. I kid you not. I had a few people do this too. Not only does it provide a nice color, the Mystic Tan can provide hours of entertainment. When I walked into the office I was met with “Did you go tanning?” from about 3 people. Why yes I did. As the day progressed it was more to the effect of “Where’d you go? If that can happen to you in a few hours after 45 seconds of mist, sign me up!” Do you think I can get reimbursement checks from Mystic Tan for all the converts that will come from this one office?

The color is supposed to last for about five to seven days. We shall see. Either way, I am a believer and see more of this action in my future. Skeeered or not, I'm gonna' get sprayed.

*************************************************************************************Who loves them some Big Lots? I don’t make consistent visits to the store but today, after lunch, I asked if we could stop by as I needed to see if they had a decorative box for the women’s restroom. Will the men ever learn to just go with the request to stop at a store and not question the need for a box?

I ended up having to tell them a few of the other ladies in the office have decided to make the work bathroom their own personal bathroom and it was looking mighty tacky. I am all for keeping some things in there you need on a regular basis if your desk isn’t an option but can you at least put it under the sink or in a nice box so we don’t have to all see your hairspray, your toothbrush, your toothpaste, your tampons (concealing them in a plastic grocery bag doesn’t hide them y’all), your roll of toilet paper (WTF?)…your stuff doesn’t need to be visible for all to see. We have many visitors coming through and it just doesn’t look right to me. NOTE: When we got back to the office, we went on a field trip to the bathroom and then they got it.

Anyway, we found no box but I did find a great leather chair and ottoman for under $450.00. Score!!! I’ve had my eye on the lookout for a set for about a year but wasn’t willing to drop the big bucks on one. Today, we stumbled across one and I snatched the last set they had in back stock up.

After enlisting the aid of a few good men, I’ll be bringing it home tomorrow. Now, let’s just hope it fits. If not, there might be some rearranging going on. I can’t wait to curl up in it and chill. I see hours reading in the comfy leather chair in my future. The papasan hasn’t been cutting it for me lately so this should be a little slice of heaven in my space.

So, shout outs for a few of my good men go to
Skittles: Thank you for agreeing to pick up the chair and ottoman in your truck

Nickell and Stalcup: Thanks for lending your brawn and manly ability to build. There’s no way this girl can bring a chair and ottoman up 26 steps by herself or even begin to trust her ability to put legs in the right way.