I was plagued by the need to discuss certain things with a certain someone. I fretted over the things I wanted and felt I needed to say for hours. I ran my ass off at the gym, I punched the hell out of the punching bag, I even broke down and got in a tanning bed to have some quiet time to listen to the inner voice. Should I? Shouldn’t I? These things I needed and wanted to say could possibly change interactions, conversations, etc. as we currently know them.
I settled in and waited with anxiety for the return call. I was ready to talk. I had made up my mind. I was going to go there. I was going to make it real. I was going to test and quite possibly push the limits past the point of no return.
I even placed a second call when the first one went unreturned. This isn’t normal for me. I fretted more. I waited. Butterflies appeared in my tummy. The call came. From go I knew it wasn’t the right day to have this conversation.
I now wonder will the time ever be right? Was the universe working with me or against me tonight? I heard the inner voice loud and clear…don’t go there. Not tonight. Let it go. Enjoy what is in front of you now. Be patient.
I just want to know…will I be lucky 13?
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2 comments:
Lucky 13?? Being all vague and mysterious, are we? :)
Sounds like you are having a hard time making the decision, but I've got to say, I'm SO GLAD you are having those feelings about someone. I'm happy for you that you have found the warm fuzzies for someone. :)
Just go with your feelings, don't fight them. You will never know unless you try!
I bet you already know what lucky 13 means. It's the best I could come up with and a truly honest thought that particular night.
I'm glad I have warm fuzzies too but honestly, I'm growing frustrated with the whole situation. My inner voice keeps saying be patient and stop putting time toward something that more than likely won't happen even if.
You know the history of my past. To be frank, I'm tired of putting someone else's needs or wants ahead of mine. I want an equal relationship. Heck, I deserve this and I am leaning towards moving on if there is no movement in the next 4 months or so.
This isn't to say this certain someone doesn't have my needs or wants in mind. It simply means it's time to make movement, in one direction or another. Does that make sense?
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