By 67%

The heathens have spoken! And this heathen? She heard ya'. Naughty house holiday party it is.

I fear this may disappoint you. It could have been really naughty but in actuality it ended up being more nice than naughty this year.

See, my adopted family (T's aunt and uncle) host the shin ding yearly. The gift exchange is where the naughty part comes in. In the past raunchy has ruled supreme.

This year, just to put it in perspective, gifts we left with include
Ace: A princess/fairy lamp (which is perfect for a friend's newly redecorated child's room)
Snookums: A bar of soap from Turkey
T: A set of serving plates
Mo: A reindeer tea light candle holder

That's some naughty stuff right there folks. Down and dirty raunchy right?

Didn't stop us from bringing naughty gag gifts though. This is how the evening started.

I drove over, picked Ace up, and we took a trip to .
Yep, we went to the local adult store. It isn't a mattress store like a certain someone thought for the longest time. Not only is it a store y'all, it is considered a megastore, a superstore according to the website. We like to do it big. No pun intended.

It took us a bit of walking around to find the gag gift section. Once we did, we grabbed and ran. As we were about to head over to Tarjay for the gift wrapping, as is the norm, I decided we needed to take the above picture.

I promise I wasn't trying to catch the dude coming out of the store on "film". He just happened to walk out as the flash went off. Ace and I thought we were about to get beat down. The looks coming off of this guy were deadly. Stink eye style.

After a quick trip to Tarjay we headed over to meet T and Snookums at their place.

In case you ever wondered where my nickname Mo came from or how it started, this pit stop is evidence of the origin. T was watching a friend's daughter for the day. She was unable to say my name so I was mommy for the duration of our time together.

Sweet but uh, no. I'm not your mommy. My name is *drumroll* Monica.

Little ones seem to struggle with saying it so back in the day, my brothers decided I would be Aunt Mo to simplify the situation. It stuck.

Much better than being called BeeBlee. Don't ask. I don't know how or why, and neither do my siblings, know why or when it started but this was what I was called when I was a little tyke.

Ok, enough digression. You want pictures and the rest of the naughty party update don't you?

We headed over to the party. And promptly took up residence at the table nearest to the food and drinks.

It's not that we are greedy like that. Ok, maybe a little bit. It was more out of self preservation.


This is Ace's newest friend, Max. How cute is he? He does tricks too and gives out the best big dog kisses.

After the drinks were flowing (we only drank water and soft drinks...shocking I know but the absolute truth), this lovely arrived.

I know it is not right, under any circumstances, to judge others. But this? This was too good not to share.


Mullet? Check. Old school jean overalls? Check. Matching jean purse? Check. Poufy shiny jacket? Check. Good look for 2007? Not so much. 1987? Rockin'.


A little bit after this, the gift exchange began. Poor Ace. Every gift he had was stolen from him. It happened to T and me too but Ace, out of all the guests, had the most taken from him.

He was a good sport about everything. And I mean everything. Some I won't speak of here out of respect and a desire not to re-live the asinine.


Post gift exchange, we busted out the camera, set the self timer, and started goofing. Approval was granted for this one . I seriously need to lay off the sweets, carbs, and get my ass back into the gym and off of the couch.

Gifts in hand, tummies full of holiday goodness, hugs were exchanged and on our way we went.